As Good As Dead
by ConNopales
Summary: Bakugou's stubbornness gets the better of him when he thinks Uraraka has Hanahaki disease. Oblivious to his dilemma, Uraraka simply regrets believing that falling in love can only happen once. It's a shame it takes imminent death to snap them both out of it.
1. Misunderstandings

This was a prompt I did for someone, so all the chapters are done. It's also in a different tense than Im used to so...meh. I'm gonna try to improve flow and pacing as I go. Sideways Tododeku.

* * *

"Get over yourself, Ochako. Snowball fights with friends are fun. Helping friends is good. This is fine. This is good." She reassures herself, fanning her face a bit to lessen the burning brightness she feels.

The last thing she wants is for her feelings to show on her face. Because this is the moment. The big setup her and Kirishima have worked hard to put into place. And she has to be sure the last vestiges of disappointment stewing in her belly ever since she'd helped plan this thing don't overtake her.

The final phase of Operation: Red-White & Green is a-go, aka, help Deku confess to Todoroki and hope for the best; and there's nothing she can or will do to stop it. Because regardless of how she feels - felt - it's the right thing to do.

With luck, Kirishima, at the end of this game, will plant the seed and convince Deku to confess once and for all.

Uraraka winces at the glimmer of jealousy that remains, despite all the time she's spent intentionally letting go. It doesn't hurt her like it used to, but it still stings.

"Uraraka, come on, we're strategizing while the defense teams set up." An unsuspecting Todoroki calls out from the semi-circle of her classmates. Kirishima nods excitedly, beckoning her over, peeking beneath Todoroki's arm with a wink. Beside them is Ojirou and, an equally unsuspecting, Midoriya, busily laying out the beginnings of a battle plan.

"Oh, sorry! Right!" She says, scurrying to reach the break in the circle at Midoriya's open right arm and Todoroki's open left.

"Wait!" She yips, her mind clearing to pull away from Deku's outstretched hand.

"What's wrong Uraraka?" Deku's got that innocent look like he thinks he may have hurt her. Deep down, she wonders if he knew about her feelings all along.

"Uhh...I...my…" she looks to Todoroki, forming a lie in real time,"...hands are a little sensitive to heat right now, sorry Todoroki." She says with an apologetic smile, pulling his arm to Deku's. "Can I squeeze in next to you Kirishima?"

"Course!"

She makes her way into the huddle of their offensive team, swallowing the lump forming in her throat as Deku briefly hesitates, then laughs a nervous laugh before bringing his arm around Todoroki's shoulder to close the loop.

"Right, so, uhh…" Deku sputters, de-linking from Todoroki and Ojirou to cough up a storm. The sound is awful, like something grating and twanging with each draw of Deku's breath. A splash of red tints his lip, long enough for everyone to see before he has the control to bury his face in his hands.

"Midoriya?" Todoroki worriedly approaches, about to touch him to offer comfort or assistance. Todoroki doesn't understand just how dire the situation really is though, but it heartens Uraraka to hear him fuss over Deku.

Deku holds up a hand while trying to control whatever urges are overtaking him, glancing to Uraraka and Kirishima, the two people in-the-know about his present condition, for help before turning away.

"Must be the cold air! I have some lozenges and tissue! Kirishima you have some water?"

"On it! I got some tea."

"Great! Todoroki, could you warm that up for Deku, please?"

"Uhhh..sure." He says with lingering concern, taking the bottles from Kirishima to warm them slightly in his left hand. "Midoriya, you've been cou-"

"Okay! Thanks, Todoroki! That's enough, don't want it to get too hot or else Deku won't be able to drink it. Then he'll be coughing the whole game!" She feigns laughter, blocking Deku from his view to give her friend a chance to gather himself.

A mix between a sheepish grin and a grimace crosses his features as he slips a blood-stained, petal filled wad into Uraraka's hand. And for one long moment, Uraraka can only think of a handful of people she'd ever do this for as she quickly places it in her jacket pocket and pats him on the back.

"All good Midoriya?" Ojirou asks.

"Yeh, thanks, guys." Deku breathes a bit easier, cheeks pink from exertion and embarrassment.

Over their collective fretting, the sound of a whistle resounds throughout the Heights Alliance courtyard.

"That's the first signal. The defense teams must be done setting up, so we don't have much time! What's the plan?" Kirishima announces, fist clenched and ready to go.

"Sorry, we don't have time for specifics. Uh, let's see. Kacchan's probably going to leave the defense to everyone else, so we should go for brute force on offense." He gestures to the boys. "Us four should actually sneak around his position, and attack the defenders, and protect ours while Uraraka keeps Kacchan busy."

"Me? But he's my partner, he knows how to counter me. And…you know he's been...avoiding me lately," she says softly, a bit embarrassed with how much it bothered her. "I don't think he'll engage," she adds, thinking back on class earlier in the week when Bakugou acted like she'd burned him everytime they touched at practice.

"Yeh, I noticed. But, at least he's here!" Deku placates before she can contest, "I still say this is your matchup. You'll be at a minor disadvantage since you share moves. But that also means he has to think around that, so use them against him. Kacchan sees you as a worthy opponent. Goad him like you usually do, and I know he'll stay on you long enough to give us time to break apart whatever defenses Momo, Iida and the others set up."

"Alright, I can do that. Bakugou's not as single-minded as he used to be, but I'll keep him on his toes while y'all do the rest." She nodded with a pump of her fist, bolstered by Deku's observation.

Besides, she wasn't needed for this phase of the operation. The point was to ensure Deku and Todoroki had fun together, everyone else could guarantee that if she could keep Bakugou out of the way. Besides, if she gave as good as she got, maybe it'd be enough to snap Bakugou out of his funk.

"Todoroki, you'll want to steer clear of Momo since she probably has counters for your quirk," Deku adds.

Todoroki nods affirmatively, always implicitly trusting any advice from Deku. She refuses to believe that Todoroki doesn't have feelings for Deku. Deku just has to accept it.

For his sake, she hopes he does.

"Kirishima, make sure you try to come back to Todoroki or me whenever you see weak points. We can use you as a projectile to take them down. Sound good?"

Kirishima nods, bringing his now hardened fists together with a crack. "You bet! I'm so ready! I'll stick close to you to start Midoriya."

"Sounds great!" Deku smiles fiercely. "Ojirou, you have the flags?"

"Right here." He pulls green flags Momo made for the game from a bag at his waist. "Ready to demolish some snow forts and plant 'em." He adds with a thumbs up and excited whip of his tail

"I'll do everything I can to counter the snowballs and quirks while Ojirou and Kirishima hit the forts."

"Alright, just remember it's a friendly game, so no need for any big moves," Deku replies shyly, hand at the back of his head.

Uraraka watches Kirishima bounce on the balls of his feet. "The defenders have to be ready by now."

"Yeh, let's go!" They shout, snowballs and quirks at the ready.

Just in time, another bell sounds, and the shouts from the other team ring out, explosions already going off, presumably from Bakugou itching to catch someone right off the bat.

As she expects, when Uraraka rounds the corner of the ice walls Todoroki erected for everyone, Bakugou is already blasting toward Deku and Kirishima, accidentally overshooting past their position since he'd jumped the gun. The two boys split apart, lobbing their first round of snowballs backward at Bakugou as they wait to see who he'll go after first.

He catches her eyes for a split second before yanking himself around.

Uraraka's a little affronted. He's ignoring her.

"Kirishima! You traitor!" Bakugou roars.

The light laugh of her red-haired comrade rings out as Uraraka quickly activates her quirk on herself and jumps at Bakugou just as he explodes himself back towards the forward advancing duo.

Her hands snatch at his leg in a five-fingered grip, instantly sending them spiraling upward at top speed. "Eyes on me Bakugou! You should know by now not to take me lightly!"

That grabs his attention.

He fires himself upward, Uraraka dangling like the tail on a kite.

"Big mistake!" He looks down, eyes intense, practically screaming he's not going easy and her adrenaline skyrockets. "I know you too well Uraraka! You can't surprise me." Grinning maniacally, Bakugou maneuvers a hand beneath him, prepping a shot straight for her head. The pops slowly stutter to life in his palm.

Placing her other hand on the sole of his boot, she yells, "Then you'll be fine getting outta this!" With a swift wrenching motion, she applies torque and pushes him up and away. Bakugou spins into a blur of cartwheels, exacerbated by the explosion he's unable to stop in time as he careens higher into the sky above Heights Alliance, yelling her name like a promise for retribution.

He'll be fine with his quirk. She laughs, floating above the carnage below.

Now she has a moment to assess if the operation is going as planned.

From high up, she spots the tiny figures of her friends. Momo indeed anticipated Todoroki's quirk (as planned for maximum bonding time) by placing traps away from where they expected. It was incredibly sweet watching Deku work to free Todoroki from some metal binding while he fended off Kaminari and Jirou, who's combined attacks were overwhelming in their concentrated forms. Kirishima, Ojirou, Tsu, and Tokoyami are busy fighting against Iida and Mina's quick work removing any flags they placed.

It is, in short, a mess of a game.

"Go Deku! You can do it!" She hollers and whoops down, hoping they can hear.

"Nah! I'll get him as soon as you're dead!" Bakugou's booming voice comes at her from slightly above.

"AH!"

Uraraka screams as a blazing Bakugou slams into her diagonally, meeting chest to chest, sending them to the ground at top speed like a shooting star falling out of the sky. Her senses ignite at the feel of his arms winding tight around her waist.

The thought of immediately pushing away is not the first thing she thinks to do.

"Rele-" she gasps out, feeling like her head's sticking out the window of a fast-moving car, attempting to bring her hands together to stop and restart her quirk. They're going too fast.

But before she can, Bakugou squeezes tighter then catches one of her wrists and moves it out, spreading their joined arms like a wing. "What's next Uraraka? I'm dyin' to see you get outta this!" He shouts above the howling wind, their descent almost at an end. Luckily, months of practice with Bakugou have already taught her to be quick as she punches her other hand into his chest, spinning under her captured arm and pushing herself up and over his head with their hands still joined.

Something, probably her shoulder, pops hard, and she screams again and bites her tongue.

"Fuck." She hears.

She can't see his face now that they're partially disjointed, but Bakugou releases her, throwing her back up and away from the ground before setting off a giant explosion against the emptier span of the courtyard. She watches the blowback propel him back towards her.

"RELEASE!" She yells, tasting warm iron in her mouth, connecting her fingers through searing pain with her eyes screwed shut. She spits somewhere off to the side.

Not a second later, she's pulled into a firm embrace and opens her eyes in time to see another short burst of Bakugou's quirk that has them arcing back to the ground.

In a matter of moments, they're skidding across the snow-covered courtyard, gradually coming to a stop behind Bakugou's team's ice wall.

Her mouth fills with saliva from the pain throbbing, nauseatingly, deep in her shoulder and Bakugou steadies her a bit before stepping away.

Without a word, he plops unceremoniously onto the ground in front of her, panting, apparently upset with himself for how far he's gone as she stands above him, holding her useless right arm and staring at him.

The sounds of the melee continue beyond the ice wall, and Bakugou meets her gaze with something like begrudging concern.

Funnily enough, she isn't upset.

"Round Face?"

She's pumped, almost intoxicated with adrenaline. And she can't help but notice how Bakugou's left himself wide open.

Uraraka shuffles forward and jumps.

"What the-!" He starts.

Landing atop his shoulders, Uraraka's weight pushes him over as she wraps her thighs tightly around his neck and pulls tight with her uninjured arm. They tumble, coming to a pause with her back to the ground and him trapped above in the best triangle choke she can muster just as Bakugou begins to float. His hot hands pop and sputter to keep his body down as he struggles against her, growling against her thigh.

She's desperately hanging on, but he doesn't stop and she her mouth is slowly filling again. Without her other arm, the strength just isn't there. Her options are limited because she doesn't want to shoot him into the sky, she wants to choke him out.

Capitalizing on her moment of uncertainty, Bakugou finally finds the leverage he needs to knock her shoulder down. Driving his fist beside her head to help him stand, he essentially walks around her body to rotate out of her choke and gain side control - all without gravity.

Crap he's getting too used to her quirk.

Pinning her weight barely keeps him in place, but he has her.

They end face to face.

It's impossible to dim the huge grin pulling at her cheeks as he stares back with an equally delighted smile plastered on his face. She hasn't seen him this happy in weeks, and that wicked grin is something she's grown accustomed to. Hair spikey and tousled, partly covering his eyes, face scuffed, and ears red - she takes it all in.

For a second she thinks she would gladly do this every day for the rest of her life if she could - fight Bakugou until he looked like he was having fun.

The thought is unnerving.

What's worse is that the sound of their heavy breathing makes her painfully aware they're alone as the fight around them dies out.

She suddenly notices the odd taste in her mouth and swallows. Yuck, yeh she's definitely still bleeding somewhere in her mouth.

"I won that! My arms busted, but I would've had it if I'd homerun you instead." She bites out, breaking the spell before Bakugou calls anything, trying to distract herself from the weird sensation his smile keeps jolting through her, and her returning nausea. "Release."

"Woulda, coulda, shoulda, and then what? You don't win 'till you pin, Cheeks. You give? Or we gonna keep going?" He barks as his knees hit the muddy snow around them.

Uraraka lets a sharp breath push her fringe out of her face, and rolls her eyes, looking away from his smug face. "Let me up. Everything's wet now 'cause of you," she says with a shiver, assessing her snowy, muddy, state.

Now she needs to change. As soon as she figures out how to get her arm out of her clothes.

Bakugou chuckles deeply as he helps her up, and she can't help the heat that rises to her cheeks as their eyes meet once more.

Her stomach flutters.

And if she had blinked, she would've missed it, but there's the tiniest hint of something that looks a bit like...fear flash across his features before he falls into a fit of coughing that sounds eerily similar to Deku's.

She rushes forward, ready to help, so used to easing Deku through his fits, it's almost instinct at this point.

"You're bleeding." He croaks out, stopping her as he clears his throat, pointing to his mouth to show her.

"Oh!" She halts to dig around in her pocket with her uninjured hand for a tissue. Grabbing the first thing she feels without realizing, she pulls out Deku's petal filled rag from earlier.

Bakugou freezes.

She panics.

Deku had been explicit about no one but her and Kirishima knowing about his affliction after they'd found him blowing bloody chunks in a hedge between Heights Alliance and Gym Gamma. Being the only ones to know made planning what to do harder but Deku'd just been too ashamed and embarrassed. But it worked out in the end.

Hence, Operation: Red-White and Green and the reason Bakugou looked like a deer in the headlights at the moment.

"This is...It's not-" she stammers, pocketing the tissue and wiping her mouth on the sleeve of her coat. Why in the world she feels the needs to justify this, she isn't sure.

"I look like I give a fuck?" He scoffs before turning on his heel and stalking past an excited then confused looking Kirishima who's obviously come looking for them.

"Bakugou, wait pl-" she starts to crunch through the snow after him.

"Uraraka! Deku did it-whoa-you alright Bakugou?"

The blonde continues on, ignoring Kirishima. "You should go get dry Cheeks before you catch a fuckin' cold," Bakugou calls behind him before setting off an explosion to quickly make his way out of the courtyard.

And just like that, whatever small moment she and Bakugou had was over. Like flipping a switch.

Kirishima strides toward her while looking back in confusion. "What was that about? Did you win?! He looked pissed." He asks, finally settling his eyes on her, surveying the apparent damage to her body.

"No…" She nods at Kirishima, feeling a bit deflated and unsure about what just happened. "I lost."


	2. Blooming

"Fucking figures," Bakugou mumbles to himself as he walks down a hall toward his room. "Because why the hell not?"

His time at U.A. was built on unfortunate fucking circumstances. The gods apparently liked to pile it on, and then set things on fire for good measure. And the only person with the stupid extinguisher is dying for someone the fuck else.

"What a joke." He scoffs to himself.

The memory of green rose petals stained red in Uraraka's hand replays (because brains are fucking stupid sometimes) and sends a sudden wave of searing heat through his heart. He hunches a bit as he unlocks the door to his room.

Not bothering to close it behind him, he quickly stumbles in, the surge of pain sends him to his knees at his wastebasket just in time to hack into it, gagging and gasping with every ragged draw of his breath.

It's disgusting.

It's torturous.

It's absolutely fucking terrifying.

Before this, he thought that he was playing things cool, that things would get better if he just shoved her away like an old book on a shelf - just better to let this one go unread.

But one glance into the wastebasket shows that it won't be that easy.

It's getting worse.

He lets out a hoarse scream at the sight of small white Tsubaki petals at the bottom of the bin. No longer buds, but small open blooms, mocking him. Destroying him.

This is proof, as he's come to find that maybe it won't get better. So where the hell does that leave him?

The thought of chocolate brown eyes in the afterglow of a hard-won battle comes unbidden, and he stops a few times to swallow back a metallic tang. He shudders, and spits up again; this time only bringing up petals and blood.

"Ngh! Fuck." He gasps for fresh air, winded from the whole experience.

"Shit."

Bakugou whips around at the sound of the voice.

"Get out Kirishima." He demands. He sounds gruff to his own ears like he's on the brink of losing his voice.

"What's going on?"

"Get. The fuck. Out." He points at the door, yelling this time, hoping Kirishima will just fucking listen for once.

"Nah. This looks serious," Kirishima says, closing the door behind him and leaning against it, arms crossed like he's ready to block it all day. "And the way I see it, you're acting your typical stubborn self."

"I'll explode you through it then." Bakugou stands up, unsteady but already summoning the slow burn that ignites his sweat.

"You could." Kirishima drops his bag and calmly raises his hands. "But then you wouldn't be able to talk about what's bothering you. And...well, judging by the confused and injured Uraraka you left outside," Kirishima gestures behind him with his head, then points at Bakugou, "and the blood on your mouth, I'm willing to bet whatever I just heard you yacking up wasn't your lunch."

Bakugou has to really think about what approach he wants to take here. Part of him knows that whatever the damage, Kirishima can handle going through a steel door...maybe. But the other part of him is just tired, and though he wouldn't admit it in a million fucking years, he's scared.

He settles on an exasperated "Tch" before waving Kirishima off and sitting back down on the floor in exhaustion.

"I gotta say, man, I was so caught up helping Midoriya and Uraraka that I hadn't noticed. Uraraka said you were upset, so she wanted to hang with me, and I just took it as business as usual. I'm sorry."

Fucking traitor. "You sure like yappin'."

"Yeh, well, you sure like brooding." Kirishima chuckles, sliding down the door to take a seat on the floor as well. "And before you do more of that, I just wanna let you know, that wasn't very cool leaving Uraraka cold and wet with a dislocated shoulder, and her mouth all bleeding like that. Mina helped her to the infirmary." He admonishes. Bakugou's fist involuntarily balls. He hadn't meant to do that.

"Seriously Bakugou, I know you think she's tough, but you gotta ease up."

Bakugou's scoffs, annoyed. The sort of patronizing tone Kirishima and the others still tend to have for her pisses him off. Though he doesn't want to "defend" her, because she can do that on her own, he certainly wants to make it clear, he and Uraraka fight on even ground.

"She almost choked me out!" He shouts, thinking about the excited look in her eyes just before she'd leapt onto him. The thought is just endearing enough to make him double over, hissing as his chest thuds away in a shot of excitement that turns instantly into pain like his body is reprimanding him for the mere thought of her.

"Whoa-whoa! Easy dude. Here, I got an extra thermos. I brought it for Midoriya but...I guess he won't be requiring my services anymore." Kirishima digs around in his bag for the recently warmed beverage.

"What the fuck does that mean?" He asks, trying focus on anything else but Uraraka.

"It means, you need this more now. Drink up." He insists.

Kirishima rolls the container over to Bakugou who snatches it up and twists off the top, the aroma of warm tea wafting to his nose. He takes a drink.

"So...how long?" Kirishima asks.

The liquid feels soothing on Bakugou's raw throat. He's begrudgingly grateful Kirishima doesn't know when to quit. "A little over a month. Thought it was a cold."

"What's in the trash?"

"What do you think?"

"I mean what stage?" Kirishima clarifies, giving a speck of attitude.

Bakugou's angry visage drops, and he hopes he just looks as worn as he feels. "Buds but…"

"Oh, good, we've got time..." Kirishima interrupts, almost laughing a bit with relief. That doesn't make Bakugou feel better.

"...they're starting to bloom now."

"Oh."

There it is. Reality.

"Still small, but, I can feel it now."

Kirishima nods, looking at the floor in thought.

At no point ever, would Bakugou have considered that this would be how he'd meet his end.

Dying in a blaze of glory, giving his all against a villain - yeh, that was more his style. But not like this. Not months before graduation, heart, and lungs filling dangerously with, of all fucking things, flowers.

How the hell is he suppose to fix this?

"Bakugou…ya know, Uraraka came to me for help with Midoriya. She's kinda…"

"Spare me Shitty-Hair. I already know she's coughing up green roses." The 'I'm-a-fucking-dead-man' is implied, but Kirishima doesn't seem to be focusing on that as confusion plays across his face.

"What? Wait, Uraraka? No." He says quickly, crawling a bit closer to Bakugou. "No, I would know. I've been with her almost every day, plotting, working out, whatever, for the past two weeks, I'd know if she were having symptoms."

"Well isn't that fucking swell for you," Bakuoug says, unable to hide his jealous tone. Which is funny because he has no idea what he would've done if Uraraka had come to him about Deku. Probably just thrown up his whole heart. That would be appropriate.

"Hey now, she said you were avoiding her. What was I supposed to do, not help? Either way, the point still stands, Uraraka isn't sick."

"But I saw it earlier. Cheeks had a wad of tissue filled with it, pulled it out of her pocket and shoved it back in like she got caught with her hand in the cookie jar. She had blood in her mouth."

"When? Today?"

"Just outside!"

"During the game?"

"Are you listening?!"

"Yeh! And I'm telling you, you've got it wrong! She does...sorta have feelings for him, not really, least, not anymore. But Uraraka does not have Hanaki's over Midoriya. She'd be dead for sure if she did because he just confessed to Todoroki at the end of the game today! He beat it, by the skin of his teeth. That had to have been his tissue. He told us not to say anything about it. Plus, she bit her tongue, of course she was bleeding."

No.

No. Nah.

Is that a smidgen of hope he's feeling?

Blow him down, now he feels like a presumptuous pining asshole. But he won't say that. "You shitting me?"

"No, I wouldn't lie to you. But, Bakugou, she's been...really confused about all of this. If we're gonna get you out of this, you gotta go and talk to her man. Soon...now - yesterday. I tried to convince her to focus on training her moves, but then she just got more upset about you, so we've been upping her gym game and just...talking. She has this really idealized way of thinking about love. Like she'd be betraying her feelings for Midoriya as if they weren't real if she felt something for others. I think she's finally got it, but…Bakugou?"

Finally. Baukgou's, I'm-tuning-you-the-fuck-out face is being read loud and clear.

"Save it. I'm not talkin' to her."

"What do you mean you're not? Bakugou, if you don't go then…"

"Then I guess I'll die." He says without sarcasm.

Even though he says it, it doesn't sit well.

"You don't mean that. This isn't a joke."

"I look like I'm joking?" He says, swiping at his wastebasket, sending it into his desk. "Admitting it won't do shit. I'm not gonna build…feelings on some fucking pity party."

"No, it's not like that. I understand what you mean, but trust me. Uraraka...I listened to her talk about you. She...cares about you but she's hurt, man. She thinks she did something wrong and she's been agonizing over that while trying to help Deku and let go of whatever she's feeling for him. Even just a bit ago, she seemed so confused, and sad. She said you two were having fun again, and then you just shut down. You gotta tell her what's happening."

Kirishima doesn't understand.

Bakugou hardly gives a shit about feelings or relationships, or…., "love" to begin with - there are bigger things on his mind. There are moves to get down, finals to win, contracts to score, ranks to climb and having someone holding you down doesn't sound like a good way to achieve any of those things.

"Bakugou?"

But if he has to deal with these shitty feelings, he sure as hell doesn't want to force the function. Otherwise, if he talks to her, he'll never know if it was because she wanted to save him, or because she actually…

Oh, fuck feelings.

"Don't you need to be heading out?"

Kirishima sighs like he has many times before this, for a myriad of other things, looking absolutely ready to forge on with the conversation.

"Kirishima," Bakugou says his name with an air of exhaustion he doesn't care to hide.

"Fine." The redhead huffs in frustration. "I'll be back from break on Friday, let me know if you need anything. Or better yet, let Uraraka know!"

Tch.

"Right, right, like you'd ever ask. Anyway, just...there's still time, so, try to make the most of it."

There's a nagging, maybe almost pleading tone to Kirishima's voice that makes Bakugou roll his eyes. As much as he'd like to abide, he just doesn't know what to do, or how to even go about trying.

Kirishima quietly gathers his things and pauses at the door. "And at least try to apologize." He adds before he walks out without looking back.

"Fuuuuck." Bakugou sighs. Is it too much to want to die in peace if this is how he's gonna go?

Bakugou hops up to lock his door and prepares for a nap before dinner. Hopefully, by the time he's up, everyone's gone, and he can cook in peace - Think in peace.

With all that he's learned in these three years at U.A., listening and learning is something he's grown more accustomed to. So he knows Kirishima's probably right. Sometimes he is.

Bakugou figures he will not stoop to revealing his predicament, but since he and Uraraka are meant to double down on training over the break, the least he can do is make shit less awkward with an apology.

Maybe.

Right now he just wants to sleep.

Granted, even that isn't safe anymore when his dreams are only tracks of him and Uraraka taking down villains, circling streets high above the cityscape, waiting to drop like a bomb on anyone in their way.

The feel of her in his arms as they shoot off into the sky. The touch of her hands as they slip through his grasp when he throws her into the fray. The way she clings tightly as they come back together. He imagines reconnecting sometimes comes with a touch of their lips and his body seizes in pain.

It's all so fast and physical. Bakugou tries to reign in the clutch of his heart; otherwise, he'll never drift off.

When he's finally somewhere halfway between awake and asleep, he feels for just a moment the strangest sense of sorrow that those moments he secretly longs for will never be real


	3. Crash

THUD THUD THUD

Uraraka wakes up a little confused.

Something loud jarred her from sleep, but a quick glance around the room shows nothing out of place.

From the look of the light through the window, she already knows it's overcast and crummy.

It's hard to move.

Although sleeping is supposed to be restorative, right now she feels less than stellar. A scratchy fullness in her throat and the start of a shivering ache in her muscles means she probably didn't change out of her wet clothes fast enough yesterday. Some bug waited for the perfect conditions to ruin her, and now Bakugou will be even more upset, or whatever he is, when they start their regiment.

"Bakugou!" She gasps, sitting up in a panic at the thought of him. The clock on her nightstand reads 7:42, and her stomach drops in fear. She checks her phone, wondering what happened to her alarm. Sure enough, flipping it open shows Saturday, December 26, and now 7:43. The tone had come and gone.

She overslept.

Worse yet, she's still sleepy.

THUD THUD THUD

"Uraraka! Get your ass up!" Comes Bakugou's muffled voice through her door.

"Bakugou?!" She says loud enough for him to hear, rubbing away her grogginess in a frenzy. How long has he been knocking?

She spots her training pants hanging over the back of her chair, mentally preparing her next steps.

"Unless you're waitin' on Big Lips or Mouths For Hands, of course, Cheeks! You were supposed to meet me downstairs at seven thirty sharp!"

Despite the war waging in her body, Uraraka jumps up to get dressed. She doesn't feel entirely out of commission just yet and she doesn't want to let him down.

"Uhhh...sorry! Just a minute, I'll be right out!" She yells before popping a toothbrush in her mouth and searching desperately beneath her furniture for her gym top.

THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD

"I'm hurrying!" She shouts at his persistence, finding and pulling her top from behind her low table.

"It's not fast enough. I'll be warming up at the gym! Don't flake again!"

With a scoff, she listens to his footsteps until they're too far to hear while she finishes up.

Knowing full well there isn't time for breakfast, she pops a lozenge to help her throat, grabs a water bottle, her bag and coat, then sets out after Bakugou.

It is, in fact, crummy outside. The dreamy winter wonderland feel from yesterday is gone, and the clouds look dark and swollen, ready to release rain instead of snow.

When she arrives at the gym, he's already stretching and massaging out his muscles on the mat with his back to an array of machines. There's a floor to ceiling mirror and a long row of dumbbells in front of him.

She knows Bakugou well enough to understand that apologizing or talking through excuses does nothing with him, and she's inclined to agree - it's pointless. The path of least resistance is merely laying her stuff down beside his and stretching too.

He inclines his head, barely, in acknowledgment, then he's back to bare minimum engagement.

How long is he going to keep this up?!

Today and tomorrow are just workout days; a warm-up, in Bakugou's eyes, before they refine their combos on Monday. But that means plenty of time for dead air.

Uraraka just wants things to go back to how they were before, or at least, to go back to bed.

Yet, Bakugou seems determined to keep her at arms length.

She doesn't mind. It's fine. She'll just sit here and stretch. Everything's. Completely. Fine. "Fine," she huffs to herself, grabbing her ankle to try and ease some of her pain.

Stretching both hurts and feels incredible. But no matter how many ways she rubs and presses, no foam roller in the world could make her soreness dissipate.

She coughs a nasty sound and notices Bakugou visibly flinch at it.

"You're antsy." She says, rising from the mat, shakily.

Bakugou tsks and gestures for her to follow him as he walks to the free weights.

"Can it. Let's go. We'll do back and bi's, and tomorrow we'll do legs, so we get a break from upper." He advises while digging around in his big gym bag. His throat sounds full of something right at the end of his sentence, and she watches him hunch a bit.

"Bakugou?" That's the second time she's heard that eerie cough from him, and she's starting to worry. It's so familiar. But it can't be...

"I'm fine!" He retorts before clearing his throat and throwing on a weighted vest then tossing one to her as well.

"Okay grumpy." She says with a grunt, struggling minutely with the hefty vest. "Let's do this."

And they begin their sets and reps, starting with free weights. Neither speaking a word, which is….actually not what Uraraka expects despite evidence to the contrary.

But she carries on, sneaking glances every so often for any acknowledgment on Bakugou's part as he times their separate exercises, only speaking to move her on to the next thing.

It's all very transactional.

It hurts. Literally and figuratively now that her head is pounding and her limbs feel like she's a toddler experiencing growing pains all over again.

Still, she strives on. Because if there's one thing she won't do, it's let Bakugou get to her. She wants to be able to say she did this, no excuses.

He's not the only one that wants to be a top hero, she thinks as she persists.

Gradually she builds her way up in weight.

At one point she searches him out in the middle of a particularly difficult incline curl to overhead move.

His back is to her, but she sees his face through the mirror in front of him, lifting like it's nothing, completely content to not interact. She remembers the last time they were here, seemingly forever ago, except they were "racing" right beside each other.

" _Ugh, do we have to do these? Aren't they the same as the other curls?" She asked, a noticeable strain on her face as she entered muscle failure._

 _"These are working different stabilizers." He'd rolled his eyes, "We do them because we have to get stronger. I'm not here to baby you. If it's so hard, just come up with a reason, to keep going, eh, or leave. Just know, if you go..." he turned to her with a pause, grinning devilishly as he continued to lift his 35-kilo weight, double the weight of hers, with relative ease. "...you'll never be able to do this." He chuckled, then kissed his bicep, ironically she hoped, on his final curl._

 _She snorted, almost losing grip on her weights, "Won't be able to do what? Kiss your biceps?! I wouldn't need training to get good at that!" She laughed full bellied, watching him fumble with the dumbbell in a fit of dry coughs._

 _"Yeh, yeh! That's enough. Think of a goal, or there's no use in you being here." He cleared his throat._

 _"Relax Bakugou, I don't even have to think about it. You're my goal!" She retorted with a sunny grin. He looked at her like she'd grown an extra head. "Every time I lift, I know it's helping me get closer to throwing you into a wall without my quirk. Then you can't be so smug with me." She wiggled her eyebrows with her final curl._

 _"Looking forward to it Pink Cheeks." He responded._

That's how it had been, encouraging, or bantering like crazy, egging each other on.

Now? Nothing.

Regardless, he's still going strong, and oh what she wouldn't do for just half of his strength.

And here she is, looking pained and maybe a little confounded as she pulls and pulls, fighting to raise the dumbbells up, practically from the ground, and overhead.

She won't stop. She can't.

Gritting her teeth, she releases huge spurts of air to try and pull as she exhales.

With a groan, she manages to pull and raise the weights just to her cheeks. Her arms are wobbling though, shaking, like a freshly chilled batch of gelatin. And as someone who can't use her pinkies, and is probably way more sick than she wants to believe, it takes that much more concentration to see this through.

Her breathing is extra ragged as she prepares for the final stretch, getting 20 kilos on either side above her head, the correct way.

She seeks Bakugou out once more, prepping to finish. She wants him to see, wants him to pay attention. Because she needs him to know that she's here, and she's trying, and she doesn't have to be but she wants to, and for goodness sake why won't he just look! Did she mess up that bad? Does he hate her that much? What in the world did she do to deserve this?

Inhale.

Ready.

Exhale.

Push!

Slowly but surely, quivering all the way, she growls her way through the final push, raising them up triumphantly and catching his gaze finally on her, the most minute of smiles gracing his lips. But it's too late, now she's peeved.

Without much thought, she drops the weights to the floor, letting them bang and clank unceremoniously at her sides (which is not proper gym etiquette) as she rises from the bench, keeping his gaze as she makes her way to the squat rack.

It's not leg day, but she's done looking at his back.

Every step is a chore as her stomach churns and her legs wobble. She's incredibly dizzy to boot - and she hasn't even used her quirk yet. But she has to stay strong.

She sets up enough weight to maybe equal a whole Bakugou (all the better to help learn to throw him during practice) and squats below the bar, ready to push up, no longer caring if he's watching because she suddenly remembers, this is not for him, or anyone else. This is for her. This is what she wants. And even though he's being an ass, he's helped her remember that more than once.

"Last thing. Come on, Ochako. You can do this." She whispers to herself. She hears the exhaustion in her own voice as she grits through the pain in her body.

One.

Two.

Up!

Black blotches suddenly fill her sight, then everything goes dark.


	4. Care

Uraraka falls ill and Bakugou is the only one that can take care of her. (not really, but he's stingy) XD

* * *

Hearing the giant crash of the barbell against the frame is the scariest sound Bakugou's heard in a long while, not because the sound is actually frightening but because it alerts him to bring his attention back to Uraraka. He catches sight of her just in time to see her collapse in a heap on the mat below the bar. His heart just about plummets into the ground, electrifying his hands and feet with a shock of adrenaline that has him at her side in a heartbeat, without a second thought.

She is simultaneously ashen and overly pink.

"Uraraka!" He barks, pushing his fingers through her hair, turning her face to him to look her over and make sure she's breathing. She is, but she's also burning up.

It's either incredibly fortunate - or stupidly unfortunate, depending on how you look at it - that Uraraka passes the fuck out and Bakugou immediately breaks into a chorus of coughs so brutal he gets a mist of blood across her top before he's able to cover his mouth.

He has to run to a bin, heaving all the way and reaches it just in time to catch a handful of petals, covered in small specks of blood.

"Fuck." He gasps. This is getting old- fast.

As he recovers, he thinks about just how much he hates his body's response to her - try as he might to ignore it. Even though she's not dead, the possibility alone was enough to get him sweating, and he's paying the price. The stronger he feels, the more painful it is, and watching her barrel through the weights and working hard was already squeezing his heart like it's in a pressure cooker. Her passing out is just the release.

But now is not the time, he thinks with a shake of his head, slapping his cheeks to stop his shiver of pain.

He needs to get her somewhere safe and call Recovery Girl because he doesn't know what the fuck to do.

So he does just that.

It's a short walk to Heights Alliance, but carrying Uraraka's dead weight and all their shit makes it interesting because his stubborn as can't be bothered to make two trips. He has to hunch the whole way, lumbering and leaning to-and-fro so she doesn't fall backward as she shivers and jerks in her unconscious state. He's never been drunk before, but he imagines it's something like this.

He makes it all the way to her room without incident, where he quietly places Uraraka in bed and leaves to figure some things out.

After one hour, two random bouts of coughing, three rounds of phone tag, and a set of instructions from Recovery Girl, Bakugou feels able to handle the rest of the day.

Rest.

Liquids.

Simple Food.

And comfort.

That's the list of things to provide before Recovery Girl arrives on Monday to check-up on Uraraka.

Since Bakugou will never ask the other two students staying over to help, it's up to him to make sure Uraraka wakes the hell up and doesn't get worse. He has no idea how to do the last one on the list, but he'll worry about that when he gets there, whenever that is.

"Just had to go and get sick for real, eh, Cheeks." He huffs to himself while signing a delivery slip outside the gates of the school. One curt bow to the helmeted courier and Bakugou has himself some genuine, hand-sliced, American applewood smoked bacon, and a few other groceries and special items that he hopes do something to help.

The one good thing about having parents in the fashion industry is that they make bank. And Bakugou's allowance reflects that.

Of course, he's super conservative with his money. There just isn't much that he wants or needs for that matter, and so when he finds a worthy occasion, like this one, it's easy to fork over the cash.

The long walk back is enough time to figure out a plan. Now that Bakugou has all these things, he has to make it count.

He hates that they're losing the extra time for their training, but everything's pointless if Uraraka can't even move. Perhaps all this effort will get her back on her feet faster. Mostly, he just wants her to be okay.

It's barely past 10:30 in the morning and she's still out. The more he thinks about it, the more his chest feels like it's being plucked, and so Bakugou focuses on the plan. Follow the list.

—-

Walking into a mostly empty Heights Alliance is the best thing about this whole predicament. No one's really here (at least no one who's an unrepentant gossip) to rubberneck or start shit about what he's doing. Just like he likes it.

That thought, of course, occurs just as the elevator dings.

"Great," he says, continuing to lay things out on the kitchen counter. He looks back to see if, maybe, Uraraka somehow made it down.

"Oh, morning Bakugou." It's Big Lips, or Sato as the rest of the class refers to him, armed with a pair of reusable shopping bags. Of course one of the only other people left over break shows up.

Bakugou grunts in acknowledgment and turns his attention back to the contents of his bags, pulling out the rest of items he thought might be an extra pick-me-up for Uraraka.

"Oh wow! Strawberries! Those are so expensive! And mochi too!"

Bakugou throws a head rolling glance at Sato, and his hulking classmate looks about ready to burst with interest before Bakugou turns back to decide what he wants to make.

"Is that for Uraraka's birthday?" He hears.

Bakugou's glad his back is to Sato otherwise his face would show his obvious surprise.

"What?" He doesn't want to give himself away.

"For her birthday - on Monday. Mina asked me to make some cupcakes when they get back from break next weekend, so I'm about to stock up on some materials today!" He says, oblivious to the gears turning in Bakugou's mind.

Shit.

He's never really bothered with birthdays before. Those are more for really close friends and family, and he doesn't know where he stands with Uraraka.

But she'd given up spending her birthday with her parents to train with him, even though he'd been pushing her away. And she hadn't even mentioned it. Had she planned on forgoing a birthday all together? Had she...wanted...to spend it with him, hoping he remembered, despite all his attempts at detaching?

His heart stutters at the thought, and he suppresses a cough with a preemptive, vigorous, clearing of his throat and sheer will.

"Yeh, that's right. But she's sick so she might not get to celebrate." He says smoothly, turning to face Sato and pulling out his wallet.

"Aw man, that's awful - being sick on her birthday. Do you have everything you need, is there anything I can get her? That's really nice of you to get all this other stuff, but I don't mind helping too, as long as I'm here." Sato points to his own chest in reassurance.

"Actually, I forgot a few things," Bakugou says counting yen to hand to the boy, hoping he's not doing something stupid by making this request. "Could you get the ingredients for shortcake and some whipping cream? I can pay." He says, holding out a small wad of bills to him.

"Sure thing. What style? Want me to make it?" He asks, pocketing the money.

"Ours, not the American stuff." Bakugou doesn't even have to think about that. He suffers through the image of her happily scarfing down a slice of his cake, and he wants to scream, take the money back and just work out all day. But that's a sign he shouldn't, he's grown enough to know that. "I'll make it." He finishes.

Sato blinks really hard like he's got something in his eye, but clearly, he's just making sure it's Bakugou in front of him. "You?"

Bakugou scoffs harshly, "I can make a damn cake! She'll be happy I even bothered!" He retorts, moving over to the sink to wash his hands, signaling the end of the interaction.

A small sly smile spreads on Sato's face, and Bakugou wants to shove something bitter in the young man's mouth to get him to stop. "Alright, I'll label them for you if you're not down here when I get back. See ya Bakugou!"

Sato makes his way out, and Bakugou looks around the kitchen, trying to gather his thoughts

"Fuckin' finally." He exhales, pulling utensils and tools out of the drawers.

Right. Stay focused.

Wake her up with food. Not because he wants to, but because there's no one else to do it. Uraraka needs sustenance and maybe some medicine.

He thinks back to Sato's offer while pouring water into an electric kettle.

Okay, so there are others that could do it, but, no one that knows her well enough to do what she likes. What if it's such a lousy effort she gets worse? Yeh, no. Not fucking happening.

Gods, she just needs to get better so he can go back to the gym, where everything is simple.

With a skillet and pot warming, the kettle switched on, and his ingredients laid out, Bakugou rolls up his sleeves, unwraps the deli package and gets to work.


	5. Effort

AN: Uraraka has a weird dream that leaves something behind, and Bakugou is full of contradictions.

* * *

A boat.

She feels exactly like when her quirk first manifested. An uncontrollable rocking that makes it look like the ceiling is moving. As if on a tiny, barely seaworthy, boat.

Or, maybe she's moving.

But Uraraka's pretty sure she's in a bed, she thinks, feeling around in her half-waking stupor to double check that she's actually on something, and not in the air.

Something solid, indeed, rests below her.

And it's hot. Unbearably hot to the point she kicks at a sheet on top of her and buries her face under another to block out what little light she can see.

That's all the permission she needs to slip back into sleep.

* * *

Sometime during sleep, the heat turns off, or the room is plunged into an icy-hell - it's hard to tell. It can't possibly be her.

Except, she feels an ache deep in her bones, from her legs up through her neck. Everything is full of pressure and soreness that no stretching can touch.

She shifts to feel for the blanket she discarded earlier, but everything may as well be dipped in ice for how little it does to relieve her shivering.

Despite the chill, she drifts off again, and this time there's images behind her closed lids.

Everything's a blur, like a day on fast-forward; the classroom bleeding into the courtyard, all inside and out of her room and she's being lead somewhere by someone she can't quite see.

Along the way, she greets hazy blobs of other students, waiting to run into someone she knows. The one gripping her hand tightens and the feel of it is comforting and familiar.

A hand she's felt clasp hers a thousand timed somewhere else.

It's a signal; they're letting her guide them. And together they navigate the chaotic mess around them.

Eventually, they end the day, winding through the crowds to head back to Heights Alliance, and up to her room. They're talking, she thinks, and it's nonsense that goes nowhere and everywhere, and it fills her with content.

Then she's leaning back in bed, and the person she can't see is there, coming closer, wishing her goodnight, taking her into their arms.

For one quiet moment, they pull her in for a kiss, and a tiny, but painful, shock shoots through her chest.

She's suddenly not so cold anymore when everything falls away before her eyes, and she's also in darkness.

All she feels is the sting in her chest.

"Cheeks! Get up!" She hears, like a muffled voice coming through two cans and a string. She'd know it anywhere.

From there, she's pulled up, out, and into the soft light of her actual room.

"Bakugou?" She says, eyes blurry and unfocused.

He's moving things around, and the clank of dishes reminds her of the fact that she's no longer in the gym.

"Yes. You can still say my name, glad to know that fever hasn't fried your brain. Here. Sit up."

For some reason, there's pressure behind her eyes, like she'd been about to cry. She covers her face with the blanket, buying time to sort herself out. "What happened? How did I get here?"

She's in her room.

"You passed the fuck out at the gym, Cheeks. You've been asleep about three hours, give or take."

"Oh." She coughs and sniffles.

She sneaks some tissue from her nightstand to blow her nose because she's feeling empty after that funhouse style dream, and the tears cannot be stopped. But the pain is finally gone.

Something scooting closer to the edge of her bed breaks her thoughts, and she finally pulls the sheet off of her head.

Before her, on her kotatsu, is a kettle; two bowls of rice topped with scallions, plus a few green peppers; and small dishes to the side filled with okaki, salmon, something crispy that might be a type of bacon, and condiments on the side. Bakugou grabs one final closed container off of the tray he's carrying and places it on the table without revealing its contents.

Without realizing it, she slides down to the floor, in abject awe at the spread before her. The smells alone could potentially make her move mountains to reach it, so getting up, for this, doesn't seem like such a chore.

She tucks herself under the kotatsu, swiping at her eyes, waiting patiently.

"I made Ochazuke. Thought it made sense." He chuckles like he's done something clever as he takes a seat across from her. She can feel how close his legs are to hers under the table. She finally feels warm.

"Here, let me." He says, before laying toppings on her rice.

She still doesn't know what to say or do. So she does nothing except continue to watch Bakugou serve her.

"This is American style bacon," he points to the brown slices of meat on top of the chunk of salmon he's placed in the bowl. "...and it's way fucking crispier than our stuff, and I love it! Thought it would help."

She can't help but notice how oddly excited he seems as he talks about the food.

"Now the tea." He says, then pours the contents of the kettle over the small hill of food in her bowl. It's green tea.

The combination of smells is so sumptuous her eyes roll back, and she realizes just how hungry she is.

It's tough not to cry again.

"You...did this, for me?"

"Don't think too hard, anyone would."

She laughs a short nervous huff and reexamines everything on the table. It looks like it took a lot of effort.

Uraraka wants to tell him, 'No, Bakugou. Not many people would,' because it's the truth. She's been here almost three years, and the most she's gotten is cards and tea when she's been sick. Not that her friends don't love her, but everyone is all so busy. Does he not find this - weird?

She is simultaneously full and empty, and everything feels tingly.

"Oi, oi! Eat Cheeks! No more passing out on me. After this, you're gonna get back in bed. I bought some hot packs we can put at your feet, and a cold pack to keep this fever down." He explains, reaching across the table to put the back of his hand to her forehead.

His touch pulls the breath from her lungs, and she shudders with an ache she can't quite describe. An ache that's been growing.

He doesn't notice though, seemingly all business.

"I bought some painkillers if you're hurting." He pulls a small bottle from his pocket and slides it to her across the table. "I don't really touch the stuff, but figured you might want the option."

"Neh, Bakugou?"

"Eh?"

"Thank you." She says softly, pulling her bowl closer to her. "This is very sweet."

Bakugou freezes.

The look in his eyes at her comment is one of sheer terror, the melodramatic kind like he hadn't realized he was doing anything abnormal. He looks to the door like maybe he's considering exiting, before he looks at the bacon and back at her, and relaxes a bit.

"It's nothing. Today was already a complete waste of time, so what difference does throwing together a bowl of soup make?" He shrugged, "You need to get better so we can get back to our shit." He says before shoving a spoonful of soup and bacon into his mouth.

Uraraka wilts, and the pang she felt earlier in her dream returns like he's cast a small stone at her. She can feel it ripple within. For such seemingly insignificant words, it's mighty painful.

How many times is he going to sing that tune?

She knows he cares. If not for her, at least others in general because you don't go through all this effort without caring. Except, he's said it already, and it feels like all the things he's doing are deliberate; a way to suffocate something inside her.

All she wants to know is, why?


	6. Vow

Uraraka makes a promise to help

* * *

"Ya know, it's okay to say you care." She offers quietly, unafraid to stare right into him.

"What?" Bakugou hates how she does this. Always calling him out on his shit. He. Hates. It.

Mostly because she's on-the-nose and this is the worst fucking time to do it.

"I know you do...or, did," she says with a harsh cough.

He leans forward when he hears a small rattle to it.

That wasn't there this morning.

Uraraka continues, pulling his attention back to her words. "I haven't figured out what happened though. Did I do something wrong?"

He needs to get her off this trail. Away from this topic. "Uraraka, you're barely on my mind for the hour and a half we're at Ground Beta, what the fuck makes you think you impact anything else I do? Just eat." He says guiltily.

She does not read his question as rhetorical.

"Well, we used to hang out. But now, you don't ask me to go to the gym or train outside of class anymore. And when we are together, you're super short with me, seem bothered touching me, and you act like I'm...like…" Uraraka sucks in a breath, and he can tell she's trying not to cry by the strain in her voice. "I just feel like I'm an annoyance to you. Something you're putting up with. And I don't know what happened."

Can he stop her? He really wants to stop her because touching her, and being around her is precisely what he wants to do, but it just hurts him so damn bad.

"If you don't want to partner anymore, just say so." She says with the same directness that always catches him off guard. "But, I'd like to solve this...if we can."

She's not like Kirishima, she doesn't make excuses or speak for him. She analyzes his stupid ass out loud to him like she's reading a book, and demands accountability more than anything.

Now he's backed into a corner and wishes she'd kept her observations to herself. All he wants to do is help her feel better, not turn lunch into a therapy session.

A slam of his fist on the table rattles the dishes and sloshes the soup, but it doesn't have any effect on Uraraka. She keeps staring, waiting, refusing to back down with her furrowed brow and stern expression, and puffy cheeks, and holy shit.

"Oi! There's nothing to "solve"! None of this is about you! I've just had other things to do. You're not the only person I hang out with." He lies, more or less.

Kirishima would be the other person or the numskull squad that's always following him, but he's been avoiding them too because hacking up blood every now and then is a hard thing to hide.

"Just because we've been assigned together doesn't mean my life revolves around you! If it bothers you so damn much, then maybe you do need another partner." He shouts.

He immediately regrets the suggestion when Uraraka's determined glare falls into a confused frown.

 _Please don't_ , he thinks, turning away from her face, anxious she'll take up the offer. His heart is suddenly loud and booming like the rush of a jet engine, right in his ears.

It is true, his life does not revolve around her, but he doesn't say how she simply fits into it like a piece of a puzzle. Though, he's doesn't have it in him to hear her reject the thought either. Things have to be better this way.

Uraraka's mouth snaps shut then gapes like a fish out of water. "That's not...I didn't mean…" she puts a hand to her chest.

His stomach begins to churn, and his throat feels full. It's the telltale sign that what's about to happen next is coming fast and can't be stopped.

"I guess…" she starts.

But he doesn't hear the rest, because he shoots up from the floor, triggered by what sounds like her acquiescing. He searches for something, anything, someplace where he can throw up.

Spotting her wastebasket gives temporary relief as he lunges for it, then feels the prickly, crawling sensation of budding Tsubaki flowers climbing up his esophagus.

He usually has time to get somewhere safe. But he can smell the blood before it's fully risen.

Then he vomits.

Heaving and gasping, his body shudders.

"Gods!" He hears her gasp. "Bakugou!" She says it with what sounds like a sob.

Without warning, her hands are on him, rubbing along his shoulders, gliding along his spine and grasping at the back of his neck in a fruitless attempt at comfort.

His heart lurches.

Uraraka's touch, ironically, makes everything worse.

The sting of tears in his eyes clouds his vision as wave after wave of muscle spasms hit his sides and back so his body can release the flowers growing inside him. The flowers that are draining him of life to bloom. Flowers blooming for her - and how the fuck is he going to explain it!

"Stop." He gulps, wheezing for breath. "Stop. Stop touching me!" He cries out, swatting her hands. "I don't need your help!" He adds for good measure, praying it pushes her further away.

He spits a few more times.

The only thing coming out now is blood, meaning, the worst is over.

"Bakugou, no! Oh my gosh, you do need help! That's….that's…"

"I know what it is." He snaps at her, breathing heavily. He watches her look for something around the room, and she comes back to him with a rag.

"Here."

"Thanks." He wipes his mouth and clears the sweat he can feel on his brow.

"I have some lozenges still, from…" she pauses for a moment, cringing a bit. "...from helping Deku. He had it up until…"

"There's nothing you can do to help me." He breathes out harshly, reaffirming his earlier vow before promptly grimacing at how much it hurts to deny her.

"That's not true. All you had to do was say something." She says quietly. Kneeling right beside him.

It's still way too hard to take a deep breath to respond, and having her so near is agonizing, making each draw for air all the more painful.

"Ehh?"

"All this time...is that what it was?" She asks with a crack in her voice, clearing her throat.

Bakugou almost chokes. He sifts through the past thirty minutes of conversation to see how she could possibly know. She's smart, but...he didn't say shit. Is being here...is he….is this too much?

"You didn't have to...push me away." She says with some measure of uncertainty. She looks like she's in pain, and all he can think about is how the hell to respond.

"Obviously you don't have to tell me who it is, but I would've understood..err...I do understand! I can help! Those flowers aren't too big yet," she says, wrinkling her nose as she looks at the contents of the waste bin. "...So your lungs must still be partly clear, that means you have some time."

Oh, thank the gods! The last thing he wants is for her to go all "hero" on him and try to "help" by offering something out of pity. He refuses. If she doesn't like him because it's what she wants, then his brain won't let him go there. It's impossible. No matter how much his heart is screaming at him.

"You really don't like to listen. Why do I surround myself with people that don't listen?" He raises the question, looking up at the ceiling. Relieved that this isn't going where he thought.

"Because I don't want anything to happen to you!" she declares.

His eyes drop down quick, raking over her face. The emotion in her words makes his palms tingle and his chest tugs a bit too tight for comfort.

"We don't," she amends, motioning around her in reference to their classmates. Then adds, "And, judging how Operation: Red-White & Green went, I'm really good at matchmaking!" She coughs a bit before reaching back to grab a tissue from beside her bed and blowing her nose. "You need me!"

Oh if only she knew.

"Tch" he responds, the shift in conversation is a bit jarring, but she's not connecting anything to her.

Now would be the perfect time to correct her, to tell her.

But he doesn't. Can't.

But...if he's going to die anyway, then he can indulge her. This way he can assure her she did everything she could when it's time.

"Fucking fine…First off..." he starts, making himself more comfortable against the wall next to her wastebasket. "...now you know. I don't need you going around blabbing about this shit to everyone so keep it to your goddamn self." He knows she won't, but pretenses must be maintained.

"Of course. I'd never do that to you." She responds with a sincere look of concern

Wanting to somehow sigh into her words is the stupidest feeling he's ever had, and yet here he is, actively stopping his body from trying to get closer.

He wants her to stop talking but the things she says are addicting, and he's a glutton for these brief moments of pleasure before the pain.

"Second...I'm sorry." He says, still having trouble breathing. "I'm sorry I did that to you when this isn't your fault."

Her smile is small but genuinely impressed. "I forgive you, I know how you get when everything's a bit much. This has to be super scary for you. I'm sorry I took it so personally."

Oh, it's very personal, he thinks. "Okay Uraraka, say I do accept...your help. What could you do?"

"Oh." She looks put on the spot like she never in a million years expected him to actually entertain the idea of "help."

"Oh, well, I could, give you ideas for dates, or talk through a bunch of ideas for getting to know them until you find something that might work. If...if you...tell me who it is, I can…" the words seem to be sticking like peanut butter on the roof of a mouth. "...help, maybe, set up an ideal situation for...maximum bonding."

He nods, not interested in whatever she's picturing, omstly because, he's here now, and it's not working. "...Okay, just…." what the fuck is he doing! "...finish your damn soup," he shoos her back. "And we can talk."

Secret out, Bakugou has no qualms with dragging the wastebasket to the table with him. He then uncovers the last dish to reveal two perfectly molded mochi bites.

"This is motivation to hurry your ass up and get back in bed. Even if you can't work out, I gotta go back and finish all my sets."

"Oh my goodness! I was wondering what was under that!" She claps once in delight. " As far as your problem goes, this is step one right here! Whoever the lucky, err...person, is - get them food that they love!"

Uraraka delicately starts to slurp through the remainder of her soup, eyeballing the mochi like a prize. "Better yet," she brings her attention back to her bowl. "...cook them this! Ugh, they'll fall in love with you for sure."

If that's all it takes then why doesn't she...want him?

"Oh yeh? What else might work since you're apparently the expert." He asks, searching for clues like a hound on a scent.

"I never said I'm an expert! I'm just a girl who's...had feelings before and...I...that's beside the point. The point is...if they don't reciprocate now, then maybe it's because they don't know you very well or, you haven't been very nice."

"Oi! I'm a nice fucking guy." And she knows him better than she thinks.

"I know that! But sometimes people only see what you show them, and don't bother to look deeper. And you can be...intimidating." She laughs, fidgeting with her finger pads. "That would be a shame though because there's so much to like."

"Do tell Cheeks." He chuckles smokily, tightening his fist below the table at the burst of ache she's causing in his chest. He's too giddy and hates how all too ready he feels to throw away his convictions and just tell her it's her. Every word out of her mouth is sweet agony gripping him like a vice.

Can he just pull her in and see what happens?

Then what? Give her a chance to say he's got it all wrong? Nah, fuck that.

"Well, you're very straightforward, and that's important for communication. But, I guess, there are sometimes you don't know how to talk about things, so hopefully, it's someone that sees that." She says, putting up a finger to begin a count.

"You're super strong, but you let other people know how they're strong too, even without muscle." She coughs a bit before striking a pose to show off her biceps.

He smiles at her enthusiasm and her praise - and wow does it sting.

"...people should have partners that challenge them without breaking them, and you do that! Uhh...let's see, you can cook." She takes another spoonful of her soup for emphasis, holding up three fingers with her free hand. "You're funny, independent, driven, smart, good looking." She counts off all of her fingers and then waves them all off like she realized it's pointless to count, and he does his best to contain a confident smile. Then again, it must be pretty fucking easy when she's talking about a hypothetical person liking these things and not herself.

"Trust me. I think whoever it is just doesn't know the real you yet. Maybe they've only seen the loud, and abrasive version of you and think that's it."

He's almost afraid to ask, but it will keep up the act. "So what do I do then, expert?"

There's a pause while she slurps from her bowl, seemingly thinking through her answer. When she puts it down, she wipes at the table where a little liquid spilled with a tissue. "It's tough to say without knowing who. Do they go here?" She says, anxiously swirling the tissue in circles over liquid that's no longer there.

He nods.

"Is it someone we know?" She asks, looking away.

He nods again. "Yeh."

He sees the most minute of movements as her throat bobs, and he narrows in on her expression. She's uncomfortable, and he really wants to know why.

"Then I won't ask anymore, in case that gives anything away. But, umm, we know our classmates well. So do things like, the hobby they enjoy, together." She giggles and coughs a bit, gasping like she can't catch her breath before popping a mochi into her mouth.

He can hear the rattling sound through her chest again and the gasp at the end...and there's no way...

...Kirishima said she's okay.

She offers him the other mochi, and he declines, surveying her for any recognition on her part.

She happily pops the mochi into her mouth. "we know what almost everyone in class likes so go with that," she says while still chewing. "Or invite them to spend the day together and then ask them what they want to do!"

"That sounds like too much trouble." Now he's full of ideas. Things he would never normally dream of doing, but he suddenly has a great need to act on. If only to see if they have any effect on her.

"You say that, but you're here feeding me, and I'm just sick. What's some more effort if it's for the person you love!"

He must look like he's about to protest because she narrows her eyes at him and throws a hand up into his face.

"And don't try and deny it. You do. At the very least, you "like them-like them" A LOT, if you wanna be a kid about it." She says with a puff of her cheeks.

"You don't get Hanahaki over some schoolyard crush. You care deeply for this person Bakugou, and maybe it's time you think about what it means to show it. Because I know you. You're thinking this is just something that gets in the way of your goals and if they don't reciprocate at this point, then they're not for you. Then you'll bury it down until those flowers suffocate you if someone doesn't snap you out of it."

She seems genuinely upset, and it amuses him greatly. He's not even mad, despite the matter that she's spot on.

"This is me trying to snap you out of it. I know being a hero is important to you, and you deserve it because you're amazing and work so hard. But you also deserve to be happy outside of that! Partners, like that, aren't an accessory or a ball-and-chain," she says waving her hand in his face again so he can't respond.

Is he that fucking easy to read?

"...they're people. And if they love you, and respect you, they'll build something with you that works for you both. Anyone with sense could see what's important to you and they'll support you! I hope that whoever loves me, if ever, knows that I wanna be a great hero one day too, and still have all the things that can make a happy home. I want a partner, not some sort of...love zombie that demands my every waking moment. That's not love." She wrinkles her nose at the notion of it all, and he can't help but cackle a gravely laugh because a "love zombie" is almost exactly how he pictured a relationship to look.

"For you, I know these flowers prove that there's a real chance with this person. They're so lucky, and they don't even know it! Because..." she pauses to think.

Bakugou hopes beyond hope that his face is stoic, or pissy like he wants it to be since she just called the person he...likes "lucky". But his heart yanks hard, and he remembers she probably says it so easily because she so securely and obviously feels nothing for him. The uncertainty alone is enough to kill him before the flowers do if he doesn't figure this out without putting too much more hurt on himself.

The flowers are enough.

"...because your feelings don't come easy. So take this chance, before it's too late. Don't waste your last moments deciding if it's worth it." She finishes, exhaling long and deep like she's trying to control her emotions.

Bakugou now completely understands why he's fallen for this girl.

"Wow, you really give a shit." He comments, masking his feelings.

Uraraka blushes, simultaneously cringing and groaning in laughter; and clenching her forehead and shaking her head while he revels in how worked up she got….over him.

"I'm sorry! I got a little carried away. But it's all the truth! Sometimes I think you like to ignore that pesky stuff until someone pushes your buttons." She sighs. "Anyway, I know you said there's nothing I can do...but I want you..." she pauses, looking at her hands, her face falling into shadow as her bangs cover her eyes.

"What?" It's so fucking stupid how he lingers on the way, "...I want you…" hangs. He briefly imagines that's exactly what she meant to say.

"I...don't really know where I was going with that. But I'm here if you need anything." She laughs a fake tinkling chuckle, and he really fucking wants to understand what that's about. "Anyway, I'm really tired. Thank you, Bakugou, for looking out for me. I'm sorry I passed out like that." Her voice is strained again, and now he's wondering if he did something wrong.

Clearly, she has something on her mind, but he won't push. He won't come out and say what's happening. But, maybe there's a way to find out exactly where she stands. Or where he stands with her, rather.

"Eh. That's you, always doing things so dangerously just to make a point. Don't be a dumbass Cheeks. I already know you're strong, fuck everyone else." He says with a shrug as he rises to start clearing the table.

He doesn't miss the way her gaze drops further into her lap like she's pulling away. It takes everything in him to keep putting things onto the tray like he doesn't notice.

"The hot and cold packs are on your nightstand, and there's some crackers and a big ass thermos with soup in the bag below it."

"Right...thanks."

Does she have to sound so fucking sad? He coughs and sneers at the bubbly, hoarse sound it produces.

"See ya later cheeks."

"See ya."


	7. Regret

Uraraka wonders if she could've changed anything at all

* * *

Bakugou doesn't come by the next day.

She understands.

She really does because at least one of them needs to stay healthy. Well, as healthy as Bakugou can be, all things considered.

Her coughs are getting progressively worse, and she wouldn't wish illness on top of what he already has.

She tells herself it's okay. But she's torn.

Waffling between wallowing in regret and psyching herself up to take action.

Even more, she hadn't thought of Deku once for the entire weekend. Which, is a milestone she should be celebrating. Instead, she's analyzing why.

Except, there's plenty of little reasons why and they all start or end with Bakugou.

The excitement she feels bantering and competing with him.

The contentment she feels in their companionable silence.

The way he seems to be in sync with her thoughts and needs, on and off the field.

The softness he sometimes shows that catches her and others off guard.

The confidence he has in her abilities.

The fierceness with which he fights her.

And so many things in between that she was only just putting words to.

And it took hearing that he's in love with someone else to make her realize it.

 _How...stupid_ , she thinks, sitting up in bed.

And it hurts. Again. So much worse than before that she's been nursing a hell of an ache in her chest. This must be what true heartache is. At this point, it's like she's being punished. What cosmic continuum did another Uraraka Ochako botch up to make her deserve this?

She's in love with Bakugou Katsuki.

And he's in love with someone else.

Perfect.

She sighs deeply, out of exasperation and a sudden craving for more air, like she's just run up many flights of stairs.

Without warning, she gags.

"Hng…" she heaves, struggling to pull in air.

The sensation isn't coming from her stomach, it's decidedly in her throat and chest, where she realizes it's been building all day. It feels like something's blocking her airway, and she can't breathe!

Utter panic drives her out of bed and across the room to the wastebasket beside her desk where she hacks violently, repeatedly, into the bin.

Eyes closed with her strain, the obstruction, or obstructions, finally crawls up her throat, and into her mouth.

Something warm splashes across her lips.

When she finally takes a clear breath, she smells iron.

It's over in a moment, but her back and chest throb painfully as she sucks in air, happy to have it fill her easily once again.

Opening her eyes stops her cold.

Blood.

Fresh blood and the smallest pile of closed buds lay atop the dried remnants of what Bakugou left behind.

"Ha!" She lets out in fright before clapping her hands over her mouth. Her heart is racing, but she feels absolutely numb.

"No...I….I…" she pants, grasping her shirt over her chest. "I can't. I can't." She says to no one in particular, realizing she's floating against the ceiling of her room.

She releases herself, already trying to reach her nightstand, and lands in a scrambling mess in an attempt to find her phone.

 _Keep it together. You're a hero. It's your job to keep it together,_ she thinks as she slows down.

She finds it amongst a pile of tissues, and hesitates, just for a moment, before searching through her contacts and pressing dial.

The tone passes for what feels like an eternity.

"Hello? Uraraka?"

"Hey!" She says too fast and cheerily. "Uh, Deku, yes, hi! You have a minute?"

"Uhh…yeh, of course, always for you." He affirms. It's so nonchalant she frowns, almost forgetting what she's called for, but then reminds herself that she's grateful his care and concern extends so far to so many people. "What's going on? You sound...upset."

"Yeh. Um, so…" she fumbles, unsure how to just come out and say it, still not believing it herself. "I…" she pauses for way too long.

"Uraraka, it's alright. I'm not sure what's going on, but...I'm here." He says, a truncated reference to their teacher's famous phrase. With anyone else, it might seem a little gimmicky, but from Deku, it meant everything.

"Right." She takes a calming breath, sensing the slight rattle deep within.

"I think...I think I'm in love."

"Oh." She swears she can hear the slight smile he surely has on his face. "That's...that's great, right?"

"They're in love with someone already."

"Oh." This one sounds suddenly uncomfortable and tense.

"They're in love with someone else, and I think I'm _sick_." She adds quickly, emphasizing 'sick' in a slightly higher pitch.

"Sick? Sick, like…"

"Uhuh." She cuts him off, tearing up as she says it.

"It just hit me so suddenly, the pain, and I didn't know what was going on until I couldn't breathe and it was like something was tearing its way up my throat. I couldn't….I couldn't do anything." She cries softly, all her numbness now turning into fear.

"What do I do? I don't think I can...I don't want to get in the way, of...but I'm…" she stops herself, remembering her vow to Bakugou not to let anyone know. Surely he wouldn't appreciate her revealing it to Deku of all people.

"Are you sure? I mean, people can change their minds. It's so early, there's still time if you want to…"

"They have it too. For someone else." She sucks air between her teeth as something twinges in her chest, and her body shakes with quiet sobs. She can't stop what she's feeling, but she doesn't want Deku to hear her fall apart.

"You said…" she sniffles, "...the doctor's told you it's possible to remove? You think...I should?"

A moment of silence passes, and she knows Deku's brain is busy analyzing the situation. Looking for every possible chance to reach a conclusion that doesn't hurt someone. She's stupidly daring to hope.

"Uraraka, that's a permanent change too, and they couldn't guarantee what would happen to you. Some people lose all memory of the person, many people lose their ability to love altogether. No one's ever just been okay at the end of that. I can't...I don't know what the right answer is here."

A loud gasp of a sob escapes her, into the line. There's no hiding it. But Deku won't say anything. He's too nice.

"I already...promised...I would help them." She justifies quietly, hiccuping as she tries to stop her tears. She hadn't pried into the alternatives before because she was so focused on saving Deku. Now that she knows, they don't sound much like options.

"You don't…have to." He says it in a way that sounds like he doesn't even agree with himself.

Now that she understands the stakes, Uraraka knows exactly what Deku would choose. He chose it already. He'd vowed to die if Todoroki didn't accept him. Not out of a belief that Todoroki's love was all that mattered, but because he wasn't willing to risk losing his ability to empathize and love others. It's what made him who he was. It's what made him a great hero.

And she's inclined to think she couldn't bear to lose it all either. What good is life without one of the things that gives it so much color; that makes it worth living - and saving.

"This situation is...awful. Listen, let me...talk to Todoroki, and my mom. We'll head back to school to be with you. I don't want you to be alone right now."

"No. Don't. Please. I'm trying not to panic. I just needed to hear...I guess...now I know what I'd choose. I only needed to be..sure." She sniffles, searching for a tissue. Her heart is still racing, but she feels much calmer.

"Uraraka…"

"It's okay Deku. You're right, there's still time to think about it more. I just should've realized sooner. I'm sorry I put all this on you."

"No, don't be. There's no way to predict these things. I'm glad you told me. I want...to do…" he sighs in frustration. "I hope...Kacchan's at least not making things harder for you."

"Oh, yeh, we're actually talking now. No worries there." She chuckles the practiced laugh that's been part of her mask for all these years. "I'll call you tomorrow, once I sleep on it. I just need to process so more."

"I'll be right here if you need me."

"Thanks, Deku."

She ends the call, walking over to the wastebasket, staring at the physical proof of her feelings.

She can't lie to herself or reason her way out of this anymore.

She hides the evidence, tossing scrap paper into the basket before sliding back into bed.

If she had realized sooner; had...understood what she was feeling...would it have made a difference?

Does it matter now?

It doesn't change what she learned yesterday.

It doesn't change anything about what Bakugou so obviously feels for someone else.

She'd hoped to help him. Still wants to, in fact. But had ignored how wrapped up her heart was in Bakugou. Too busy thinking things had to be a certain way to see.

And now, as terrifying as it is to...face her death, Bakugou is there too, closer even.

Helping Bakugou means he lives.

And that's all that matters.

Her fever's not gone, and her body's still throbbing with soreness, but she wants to do something; think, plan - anything, despite what it will mean for her.

It's just that, by the time she's determined that she needs to buck up and find the strength to put her feelings aside, it's dark, and she barely has any fight left in her to keep sleep at bay.


	8. Burn

Together they burn.

* * *

Bakugou grappled all night with what to do - with a ridiculous glimmer of hope he has that Kirishima's right, that Uraraka just has a hard time letting go and knowing how to do things for her.

He's...dare he say it? Nervous?

Nah, fuck that, he's scared as shit, and he's too damn proud to say or show it. The clocks ticking. He can sense it in the moments where his room's too quiet. He feels the creeping, crawling sensations of the flowers taking root, feeding off of him, growing.

It's part of why he woke up early to start making the damn cake.

Distraction.

Now, he's about to put himself on the line, and the more he thinks about it, the more he wants to toss the whole idea and do something stupid. Because what's the point of holding back if he knows he's dying anyway.

Except he has a reason. Is it a good one? Probably not.

It feels too ridiculous to say, but: feelings. His fucking feelings are the reason because Uraraka was right when she guessed his thoughts. If she doesn't feel anything for him now, it's meaningless to let her know.

The shit she felt for Deku was so obvious.

And he's nothing like Deku.

Maybe he's naive, or too inexperienced, but is it too much to ask to be wanted as he is? Not because of some frilly declarations or over-the-top gestures to make it obvious. Just him, and her, and the fucking gym. Or wherever the fuck doing whatever the fuck.

That's more his speed.

Which is why this feels like the perfect medium.

A perfect, chilled, strawberry shortcake.

It's not too much. And something Bakugou knows, without a doubt, she'll love.

TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP

He wraps on her door.

He hears a muffled, almost nervous, "Who is it?", from the other side.

He rolls his eyes.

"It's me, Cheeks, open up." Fuck, can his heart stop beating so damn fast? Coughing up shit in front of her still isn't ideal.

"Oh! Uh...I haven't changed since yesterday!" She says as if that's an excuse.

"I've smelled you at your worst Cheeks, I don't give a fuck! Open the damn door." And he has because when they practice, they go hard. And before all this mess, they'd go for hours.

His mind jumps to the image of catching her in his arms on a rebound move, loving the fierce look in her eyes when they're always on point, and his legs about give out with a jolt of excitement.

Fuck.

"Uh...j….ju-just….a….mi..." he hears her stutter, practically hiccuping pieces of words. Something's wrong.

That's not good. He breathes deeply, trying to stay upright and keep the incoming pain at bay.

"Cheeks!" He wheezes, "Uraraka….please." He amends in need. Desperate to get in, just in case, leaning his head against the door for support.

He doesn't expect to hear what he does through the steel.

Uraraka's wretching. Though her sounds are smaller and more feminine, that wet, choking gasp of a cough will haunt him for the rest of his life. He'd know it anywhere.

"Uraraka?!" he shouts, pain forgotten with his rush of adrenaline. "Hey! Let me in!" He bangs on the door, jiggling the handle like it'll open on command.

"Nu…hng" he hears before she's hacking once more. "Please!" She finally pants, hollering, almost like a cry.

Shitshitshitshitshit.

Her panic puts him on high alert. Fight or flight active, and he's ready to fight.

He sets the cake down, and rubs his hands together, looking around the hall for the emergency sprinkler system. "I'm coming in!" He shouts, placing his hands on the handle.

He's not Todoroki; sustained heat isn't his thing, but he's practiced keeping his hands primed long enough that he just might get this shit open - without setting anything off.

Superheating his hands like a forge, he concentrates on not popping off his quirk, just breathing through the charge to maintain it. Turning from red hot to bright yellow, the steel begins to sag and drip away.

In a few seconds, the handle and plate are completely gone, leaving the hole with the locking mechanism intact. Sticking a finger in, he slides the latch back and pulls the door open, then rushes in, sliding to a stop beside her, unsure if he should touch her or not.

Uraraka is a shuddering mess beside the waste bin.

"I didn't…" she gulps, voice soft and hoarse, "I didn't realize."

He looks into the bin. Sure enough, fresh blood, buds, and leaves sit spattered on top, with, what looks like older ones beneath that. Everything's small, but it's a lot.

Fuck.

"Sometimes it surges like that. A lot or a little. I think it just depends on what you're feeling. Or how...you feel about...them." He says by way of comfort.

She seems to ignore him, instead, crawling to her nightstand to retrieve some tissue.

While she kneels at her bedside, it finally sinks in for him, and his heart drops like a stone in dread.

This is irreparable.

Somehow, someway she's sick too, and it's too late. Bakugou wants to ask her who, but he knows that would be hypocritical to do.

Pressure gradually begins to build up inside him. Except it's different from his new normal. It's more heavy and full, like the feeling in his throat when he's trying to hold back tears, except all over his chest.

"Cheeks?" He needs to distract himself, but he knows she's scared right now. But fuck if he knows what the hell to say.

He tries anyway.

"Hey, lucky for you, there's still tons of time...I know you'll be alright." He tries to sound reassuring.

Unfortunately, it has the opposite effect.

Uraraka hunches and leans onto her bed, shoulders shaking intensely.

She shakes her head.

"Not if I can help it." she says sadly.

He's taken aback at the defeat in her voice. What the hell does she mean? She won't even try?

"Oi! What the fuck are you talking about? That's ridiculous, just fuckin go! Who wouldn't accept you?!" he barks, feeling his pain return with a vengeance.

Here he is, goading the girl of his dreams into running to the person she apparently loves.

This is who he is now.

"It's not that easy!" She rounds on him, brow furrowed, tears sparkling down the apples of her cheeks. Gods, she's even beautiful when she cries.

"Don't fucking tell me it's not that easy! If anyone knows that, it's me! What's your fucking excuse?" He coughs. "Too fucking scared to just say it to their face, huh? You're a right fucking rainbow in comparison to me, no one would tell you no."

He immediately starts to sputter, the singular cough turning into a cascade of whooping, intense, coughs that he wills to not produce anything.

It doesn't work.

Before he knows it, Bakugou's on his knees, vomiting into the bin too. It's upsetting how routine and, almost, easy it is at this point.

He's an asshole, he thinks as he wipes his mouth. He knows it. A hypocrite to the umpteenth degree spouting off insecurities he knows are his alone. Wasn't she just trying to convince him of his own worthiness and stubbornness a couple days ago?

He knows he's worthy, he just wants to be wanted by her.

As he recovers, he glances over to see her looking like a wounded pup, staring him down with the saddest, most regretful, fucking expression.

And she's searching for something, he knows because he's sitting here doing the same damn thing, trying to figure her out but he wants to know what the hell gives her the right.

"Would you?" she asks, breaking the silence, fresh tears flowing with the question. "...accept me?" she clarifies.

It's like a bass drum thumping in his ears.

"What?"

Her face falls into an expression of absolute anguish, and it kills him inside. With a click of her tongue, she launches into a slew of words he barely hears.

"I know you're running out of time, and we need to focus on helping you confess. I promised you that. And I'm going to help. I am. I will! But, do you think...just for today, you can pretend...that...it's me." The more she speaks, the lower her gaze goes. It's so unlike her, it peeves him off because he's so used to her challenging stare.

"I'm going to die Bakugou. I know it. But I want…" she inhales roughly, trembling. "It's my birthday today...I just want...to pretend everything's going to be okay."

She prostrates herself like it's the worlds biggest fucking apology that she hasn't put words to yet, and weeps onto the floor.

Everything is difficult to process. He's already gone too long thinking it impossible.

He looks around the room, ensuring there are no blurry edges like he sees in his dream.

But there's nothing. It's just them, Bakugou and Uraraka, here in her room.

He's never seen her so vulnerable. It makes him instantly ashamed because this is new for her, but here she is, laying it all out.

Even though she's bawling on the floor of her room, he's amazed at a depth of her strength. It's so easy to recognize because he's disgusted with how readily he wasn't able to make himself do the same.

This doesn't seem real.

He has to be misunderstanding. The thought alone causes him an excruciating amount of pain that he tries not to show. He's sinking.

"Me?" Is all he says, gulping like an idiot to keep from throwing up. What the fuck is he doing?

"I can't…" she hiccups, "I can't help these feelings. I wish I could go back to the first time you held me and it felt like something more. But I was so wrapped up in how I thought things were supposed to go that I didn't see what was really happening. And I know I'm not who you would pick. And this is so, so, selfish of me, and you don't owe me anything…" she says quickly, looking up from her spot on the floor. "But...please?"

It's a confirmation, barely. She can't bring herself to outright say it, either out of guilt or embarrassment, he can't tell, but it's because Uraraka believes it could never be her.

She has no idea how simultaneously confused and amazed he feels in this moment. Though, it's shortlived.

Out of nowhere, he hisses as a shot of searing heat pulses through his body, and the agony he feels intensifies like his quirk could be burning him up inside out. The brightness is everywhere, even behind his eyelids.

"Bakugou?!"

He groans, falling forward, forehead to the ground, he clenches his chest. His entire body is throbbing, and the pain is rooted in his bones. Just like before, he feels Uraraka's touch, attempting to sooth the muscles of his back. This time, it does exactly as she intends and gives him something to focus on.

He tries to relax but the assault on his body is so much.

Then, she's embracing him fully, arms atop his back, head buried in the back of his neck, whispering words he doesn't quite understand. It's like a syringe drawing blood. He feels the heat being tugged away, straight from the point, dead-center at his heart.

Draining and draining.

For such an effect, she sounds so far away.

Until she doesn't.

"I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I know there's nothing I can do right now, but I'll be here to help." He hears her whisper underneath his heavy breathing as the world comes back into focus and the bright hot heat vacates his body.

His eyes go wide.

Heavy breathing. That's him.

It's not strangled or painful.

It's a natural breath.

He inhales as long as he can, testing it out.

It's undeniable. Unmistakable.

The heaviness, the ever-present creeping sensation, the constant ache - it's gone. Completely gone.

"Shit," he exhales slowly and chuckles into the carpet with disbelief.

"You alright?"

"Yeh…" he rises, shivering when her arms slide up his back and over his shoulders as he moves. "Yeh, I feel great." He replies, catching one of her hands before she disconnects.

The way she freezes and stares back and forth from their joined hands to his face gives him pause. Even though his pain is gone, it doesn't stop the genuine emotions she elicits from him.

He understands why his flowers grew.

To make him confront something he already knew was real but was too afraid to face.

All he'd had to do was believe her.

Now he has to make her see.

"Round Face," he takes another deep breath, fucking ecstatic at what it means. "...when I barged in here and saw you were throwing this shit up," he says with a push of the bin, "I thought I was as good as dead."

Her brows furrow over puffy-red eyes, and he has to head her off before she stops listening.

"But I'll be honest. I don't need to fucking pretend." As he says this she tries to pull her hand away, looking more upset by the second. He holds on tight.

"Wait. Hear me out," Bakugou pleads. "I'm not fucking with you. All I know is that, at some point, it just felt...natural - real - to see myself with you, and it started blurring lines and freaking me the hell out. Then the flowers started growing, and I couldn't ignore it anymore. But you loved Deku, and I wasn't about to get in the way over some woowoo doomsday counter. I want you to be happy! I thought he would make you happy, and then I couldn't stand the idea of being a backup! And I tried to save myself the fucking pain!" He says, voice trembling.

"Then shit got worse, and I knew my time was almost up, so I thought I'd try to make it count." He continues quickly, "You're so hard to let go of. You love a good fight, you're strong as hell, and fun, you make me consider things I might not want to, and...just...you. All of you. I…"

Shit, he might have a terribly normal vomit incoming. He doesn't know what the hell he's saying and she's too fucking quiet. Who the fuck is good at this shit?

Fuck this.

Fuck words, he thinks as he pulls her to him in a hold similar to what they do in practice. His grip is tight, and he can literally feel every thump of her heart against his chest as he looks at her lips.

"I"m gonna kiss you," he tells her with a slight incline of his head, asking the question he doesn't actually speak.

"Ok." Is all she responds with before Bakugou plants his mouth on hers.

Just as they touch, Uraraka seizes up in his arms, eyes shut tight like she's actively in pain when he realizes what's happening. He pulls away, and holds her through it, running his fingers through her hair, listening to each drag of her breath like she's starving for air. She burning up too. If he didn't know what was happening, he'd be completely terrified, blaming anyone and everyone, ready to hurt someone for hurting her. But this is on him, or on them both, he guesses.

After a long while, which really must've been an eternity when he experienced the same just moments ago, Uraraka finally stills, panting in easy flowing gasps in the crook of his neck.

* * *

One more chapter and an epilogue to go! I was on a deadline when I wrote this. I had to turn it in by like, Dec 23. XD I made life unecessarily hard.


	9. Comfort

Interruptions abound, but Uraraka isn't having any of it. :D

* * *

Sound and sight rush back in for Uraraka, and the alarming urge to spit up green buds she previously held is now entirely absent.

Her chest feels...less rattly. Less full.

But there's no way. Just last night she'd ached and cried, resigned to ensure that she would die so Bakugou could live.

It can't be...and yet, she feels like she can breathe again.

Is this...is it...?

"Was that...?"

"I think so," Bakugou responds, appraisingly, pulling away to check her over for something wrong.

"Just...just like that?"

"You fuckin' want it back?" he asks in a tone signifying the depth of his trauma. He's serious and then not.

"No! I just...didn't think it was possible."

"Ha! Well, I think we're do-"

"Uraraka! Are you okay?! Are you there, we came - oh!" Deku, of all people, stops mid-sentence as he comes around her wide-open door, shimmering with lightning, looking ready for a fight. Todoroki skids to a halt behind him, going from a determined scowl to mild interest in a heartbeat.

"Oh. I wasn't expecting this." Todoroki adds before ignoring them to examine the door. "Were you?" he asks Deku.

Bakugou is suddenly shaking in her arms, and she genuinely smiles for the first time in days, knowing exactly what's coming.

"Oi! Fuckheads! We're trying to work some shit out here! Go the fuck away!" He screams, squeezing Uraraka possessively.

Deku's gaze bounces from Bakugou to her, and she nods minutely.

Even though she probably looks like hell, she's trying to indicate that everything's fine. More or less. Luckily, he catches her meaning, and smiles the sweetest Deku smile, nodding appreciatively.

"Sure thing Kacchan! Sorry to disturb you. I got scared when I saw the door like this." He says, slapping the scorch marks around the open hole. "Uraraka, if everything's alright, you should get dressed. Todoroki and I wanna take you out for your birthday. You can come too Kacchan if you want. It can be like a double date!"

"You little - we already have plans - "

"We do?" She asks incredulously.

"I didn't get to ask you yet!" He says to her before snapping back to Deku, "Plus, she's fucking sick!"

"Oh..."

"What's this thing out here?" Todoroki interrupts, looking like he doesn't care what happens either way, bending down to examine something she can't see. "It's a cake."

"A cake?" She asks, trying to get Bakugou's attention.

"Don't touch it! That's not for you!" Bakugou snarls.

"But it's out here. It's fair game."

"Guys..." she tries to interject.

"Deku, get your boyfriend out of here before I knock him out until the break is over."

"Kacchan, you know I'd never let you do that."

"I'll fucking take you too..."

Finally having enough of this, Uraraka takes charge.

"GUYS!" She yells over their banter, patience about up. Each boy quickly brings their focus to her.

"Deku, Todoroki, thank you for coming to see me! I really appreciate it, and I'd love to go to dinner, but let's save it for tomorrow. For now, I need to finish talking to Bakugou. He was about to kiss me, and I kinda ruined it, but I'm okay now, and I'd really like to get back to that, please."

Deku's eyes go wide in the cutest way. She already knows she'll have a lot of explaining to do once it's sorted.

"Sounds good. We'll see you tomorrow Uraraka." Todoroki says, pulling Deku away by the hand.

"Oh-kay! See ya tomorrow Uraraka!" Deku manages to wave just before he disappears behind the door and down the hall.

Now it's back to where she and Bakugou were.

No more interruptions.

The entire time Bakugou hasn't let her go, and there are no words to describe how light that makes her feel. She turns to him and startles a bit. He's looking so intensely, she thinks he could set her on fire with his eyes alone.

There is no warning.

Only a new kind of heat as his lips touch hers, and her nerves ignite like a cascade of dominos, crackling with electricity from the tips of her fingers to the soles of her feet. His rough fingers scorch across her skin like wildfire as one of his hands travels up her body to cup her cheek in the most delicate hold, and the other molds her waist into his. She can barely hear the sound of her sigh into his mouth over the rush of her heart.

It feels like only second and forever before he's leaving sweet pecks at the corners of her mouth, then pulling away, breathless.

Now she's floating, figuratively. But so gone, she thinks she'll never come down, and Bakugou's looking just as dazed.

Is this happening? After she was certain things would be over soon?

Her throat closes, and she tries desperately to hold back her emotions but who would expect her to stop happy tears when she is so overwhelmed to be in this position. If feels selfish to want more.

How did they end up here?

"Holy shit." Bakugou interrupts, looking through her like he can't see, squeezing her like he's making sure she's real.

"Yeh." She agrees, sighing dreamily. "Are we sure we're cured though? Maybe we have to kiss more to be certain." She says half-jokingly. He opens his mouth to respond but another voice beats him to it.

"Well, I must admit, it's not what I had in mind when I said to provide comfort, Mr. Bakugou." Recovery Girl says, standing politely at the entrance. "But, I reckon it can't hurt."


	10. Epilogue

Mina and the 3-A girls are positvely shook.

* * *

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!" Mina yells, waving her arms to put a stop to the conversation. The rest of the class 3-A girls giggle like crazy, equally shocked at the news.

"Sato, you're telling me, Bakugou, grumpy-pants, explodo-boy, made Uraraka - our sweet, floaty-bunny Uraraka….a cake?"

"Yep."

"For her birthday?"

"Yep."

Mina shivers with excitement, already dreaming of what it all means.

The elevator dings behind them and the woman in question walks into the kitchen.

"Uraraka! When were you gonna tell me Bakugou made you a cake!? No calls, no texts, nothing in the group chat!? What gives? This is huge!"

"Oh! I don't know...I guess I was trying not to make a big deal. I was sick, so he kept me company." Uraraka smiles. "He made me soup, we ate the cake; which was delicious by the way - it was Strawberry Shortcake! Ugh! Mina, I would die for that cake!" her eyes roll back and Mina thinks that look has to be about more than a cake.

"Anywho, then we played games, and just talked all day. It was a great birthday." Uraraka says with a happy sigh.

Oh.

My.

God.

"WHAT?!" Mina screeches, not believing her ears. "Are you kidding me? Uraraka! You and Bakugou?! That's...that's…that's..."

"None of your fucking business, Pinky." Bakugou interrupts as he enters the kitchen from the elevators.

"You ready, Cheeks?" Bakugou says, eyes raking over Uraraka appreciatively.

"Absolutely!" she hops over to him, linking her arm in his.

Mina thinks she's on the verge of an aneurysm. This can't be real.

The girls share a collective look of intrigue.

"Wait, you got something right here," he says, gesturing vaguely at her head.

Uraraka starts feeling around on her face, but Mina doesn't see a damn thing. Her friend looks pristine.

"Oh! I checked in the mirror before I walked out, where at -"

To the amazement of all, Bakugou slowly leans down while Uraraka obliviously searches for the non-existent face marking. He captures her mouth with his, kissing repeatedly, possessively, like he needs to make sure they're all aware of what this is. He nuzzles his way up Uraraka's jaw to leave a peck, then nuzzles back to linger gently on her lips.

And they part.

Uraraka is a million times dazed, and Mina's heart flutters furiously by proxy.

It's positively, the most, romantic display Mina never thought she would witness from Bakugou, let alone Uraraka.

She's grinning like mad while Bakugou waits for Uraraka to snap out of it.

He's ignoring all of them when his face slips into a smile. An actual smile! And it's the most devilish grin in existence!

He knows exactly what he's doing, Mina thinks with a bit of pride in her friends.

Uraraka gives a little shiver, shaking it off, then steals Bakugou's hand. "Stop that. Somewhere out there is curry with our names on it!" she admonishes playfully, pulling him along. "Let's go!"

Bakugou follows, happily.

"Sato, I'll be ready for cupcakes when I get back! See you tonight everyone! " Uraraka shouts without looking back, seemingly uncaring that they are leaving everyone stunned.

They're barely out the door when Jirou breaks the silence. Letting loose an incredulous, "Holy shit," to mark the occasion.

"I know right?!" Mina responds, already impatient to hear all the details as they all start to speculate how it all came to be.

"Eh," Sato interrupts, "that's all old news. Wait till you hear him tell her something romantic." Sato shivers, momentarily caught up in a memory.

"It's weird." He adds, before he waves goodbye and walks toward the elevators. "Anywho, see you girls tonight."

The end.

* * *

I hope you liked it. XD I really struggled with this prompt, and I thought my person was going to hate it. Because I think everyone expects a one-shot and I wrote 18k XD. Even though I know lots of people write Hanahaki AU, I really tried to breathe something into it. Thank you to Karmahope, Oreoday and Bran for all their help - encouraging and bouncing ideas. And to the Camp Kacchako server. I love them! You should join us!


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